Written by Kathryn Carlson, MSSA, LSW

Grieving parents have taught me many things. They have taught me that children are not supposed to die before their parents. They have taught me that grief is an on-going process. They have shown me the true meaning of strength, and the importance of surrounding yourself with support. You cannot work around your grief, or try to speed around it. It is a process that must be worked through. No one can tell you what is the right or best way to grieve. The loss of a child brings with it a grief that is so profound; each person will react individually to it. Some may grieve hard and fast, while others may grieve slowly and with significant detail. Often, the retelling of the circumstances of the loss—be it stillbirth, neonatal loss, or infant loss, are important in proceeding through the grief process. Sometimes just saying the words out loud help the parents to work through their grief. Sometimes the words need to be said repeatedly to be effective. Only the parent who is in that process can know what they need to do.

As caregivers, friends, parents, the best thing we can do for those who are experiencing such a loss is to lend a listening ear. Most often, these parents are looking merely for someone to lean on and to hear them when they say that they are sad, or frightened, or unsure. We can help to provide much needed support and caring for those who have suffered through what is undoubtedly a parent’s worst nightmare. Remember that each baby that is born into this world is loved, and will never be forgotten. 

Written by Kathryn Carlson, MSSA, LSW

Grieving parents have taught me many things. They have taught me that children are not supposed to die before their parents. They have taught me that grief is an on-going process. They have shown me the true meaning of strength, and the importance of surrounding yourself with support. You cannot work around your grief, or try to speed around it. It is a process that must be worked through. No one can tell you what is the right or best way to grieve. The loss of a child brings with it a grief that is so profound; each person will react individually to it. Some may grieve hard and fast, while others may grieve slowly and with significant detail. Often, the retelling of the circumstances of the loss—be it stillbirth, neonatal loss, or infant loss, are important in proceeding through the grief process. Sometimes just saying the words out loud help the parents to work through their grief. Sometimes the words need to be said repeatedly to be effective. Only the parent who is in that process can know what they need to do.

As caregivers, friends, parents, the best thing we can do for those who are experiencing such a loss is to lend a listening ear. Most often, these parents are looking merely for someone to lean on and to hear them when they say that they are sad, or frightened, or unsure. We can help to provide much needed support and caring for those who have suffered through what is undoubtedly a parent’s worst nightmare. Remember that each baby that is born into this world is loved, and will never be forgotten.