DENIAL: MEN'S RESPONSE TO LOSS
Written by Marshall Greenstein, M.A.,
Licensed Mental Health Counselor & Marriage & Family Therapist
Recently, I was asked to explain men's tendency, generally speaking, to use DENIAL as a response to loss. The specific subject related to pregnancy.
Denial is a defense against PAIN. Men, in general, understand and appreciate physical pain. Those who have endured physical pain and the process of healing come to appreciate the experience. However, the emotional experience that often accompanies physical pain may be ignored or avoided.
Upon experiencing the loss of a baby during or after pregnancy, most attention focuses on the woman quite expectedly. While grieving her loss as others attend to her basic needs, what becomes of the man's needs? How does he come to grips with his loss too?
You see, we live in a "get over it" oriented world hell bent on us moving ahead and not getting STUCK or bogged down emotionally. Men want to maintain the notion of having our act together. We lend support to our loved one during the aftermath of loss and grieving. We act responsibly and appropriately much to the delight of others including our loved one. What happens to our emotions? Do they exist?
Back to DENIAL, funny thing about emotions. We learn to repress them until they by chance seep out - by way of mood changes and behavioral acting out. What can follow as DENIAL ceases to let go includes relationship difficulties and tension, work problems, alchohol-drug use/abuse to name a few possibilities.
Before this occurs, seek out guidance from a compassionate and understanding soul. Emotions teach s and the benefits may outweigh the perceived PAIN. Grieving a loss is normal, natural and healthy. The experience might draw you and your loved one closer together. There is so much value to facing ones emotions. BE AUTHENTIC! I invite you to reach out.
Marshall Greenstein, M.A. is both a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist in NY State with over 20 years experience. He practices at 512 W. Third Street, Room 116 in Jamestown, NY 14701. (716) 484-7756
DENIAL: MEN'S RESPONSE TO LOSS
Written by Marshall Greenstein, M.A.,
Licensed Mental Health Counselor & Marriage & Family Therapist
Recently, I was asked to explain men's tendency, generally speaking, to use DENIAL as a response to loss. The specific subject related to pregnancy.
Denial is a defense against PAIN. Men, in general, understand and appreciate physical pain. Those who have endured physical pain and the process of healing come to appreciate the experience. However, the emotional experience that often accompanies physical pain may be ignored or avoided.
Upon experiencing the loss of a baby during or after pregnancy, most attention focuses on the woman quite expectedly. While grieving her loss as others attend to her basic needs, what becomes of the man's needs? How does he come to grips with his loss too?
You see, we live in a "get over it" oriented world hell bent on us moving ahead and not getting STUCK or bogged down emotionally. Men want to maintain the notion of having our act together. We lend support to our loved one during the aftermath of loss and grieving. We act responsibly and appropriately much to the delight of others including our loved one. What happens to our emotions? Do they exist?
Back to DENIAL, funny thing about emotions. We learn to repress them until they by chance seep out - by way of mood changes and behavioral acting out. What can follow as DENIAL ceases to let go includes relationship difficulties and tension, work problems, alchohol-drug use/abuse to name a few possibilities.
Before this occurs, seek out guidance from a compassionate and understanding soul. Emotions teach s and the benefits may outweigh the perceived PAIN. Grieving a loss is normal, natural and healthy. The experience might draw you and your loved one closer together. There is so much value to facing ones emotions. BE AUTHENTIC! I invite you to reach out.
Marshall Greenstein, M.A. is both a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist in NY State with over 20 years experience. He practices at 512 W. Third Street, Room 116 in Jamestown, NY 14701. (716) 484-7756